5 min read

Woman Literally CAN'T EVEN With This Bear Right Now

Mary Maley was out for a solo kayaking expedition along a waterway Alaska when she decided to stop by a cabin on shore to eat her lunch. Well, it wasn't long after she'd settled in to nourish herself that she had a surprise visit from one of the region's most iconic locals: an inquisitive black bear.

Maley's reaction was less than welcoming. She proceeded to needlessly pepper-spray the bear, who then took a keen interest in riffling through her stuff. Maley couldn't handle that.

Here's a transcript of their conversation:

Woman: Thank you for leaving my kayak alone.
Bear:
Woman: I'm going to pepper-spray you in the face. That's what I'm going to do to you.
Bear:
Woman: Go away. No. Get away from the kayak. Get away from that kayak.
Bear:
Woman: Come here. Come on. Stop it bear.
Bear:
Woman: Stop it. Bear? Bear? Bear, you're breaking it. You're breaking my kayak.
Bear:
Woman: Why are you doing that? Why are you breaking my kayak? Why are you breaking my kayak? What am I going to do?
Bear:
Woman: Why are you breaking my kayak? Stop it! Bear, stop that. Stop that, bear. Bear, stop. Stop breaking my kayak, please. Please stop. Gosh darn it. Why are you doing that?
Bear:
Woman: Bear, please stop. Please, stop bear. It's the end of September. Why are you here? You're suppose to be asleep. Why are you here?
Bear:
Woman: Ahh. Bear! Bear! Stop that. Stop that. Bear, stop that. Bear? Bear, stop that. Bear, stop that. Bear, stop that. Please, stop that bear. Bear, please stop that. Please stop breaking my things. Please stop breaking my things, bear. Bear, please stop breaking my things.
Bear:
Woman: It's not even food. It doesn't even taste good. It's just plastic. Bear, please stop. Please stop, bear. Bear, please stop. Please stop that, bear. Bear, I don't care. I'm going to bear spray you.
Bear:
Woman: Please, stop. Bear? Bear? Bear? Bear! Bear, please stop!
Bear:

It wasn't long after that the bear continued to mosey on his way. However he did leave the kayak a bit too beat up to be safe on the water. Fortunately, Maley was able to swim to out to a boat nearby, which carried her to safety. According to the video's description, she's already working on repairing her bear-damaged vessel.

While this isn't the most pleasant wildlife encounter ever captured on film, the fact that Maley never appeared to be in any danger personally does help dispel one of the more unfair stereotypes about bears being inherently aggressive toward humans.

Kayaks, on the other hand, might be a different story.