You can't always be home all day, and your dog understands that - he has ways to entertain himself. In fact, his jobs are pretty important.
"OK, weird imitation squirel. I have to protect this house, so I'll need to ask you a few questions ..."
"Must ... stay ... awake. Have to keep ... bed warm ... for human."
"The dryer thinks it can make these clothes warmer than I can? We'll see about that ..."
"This floor isn't going anywhere with me looking after it. I am the ultimate floor protector."
"This table has never moved before, and I'll make sure it stays that way."
"If only I could keep the door open and look in the fridge at the same time ... making dinner is going to be a challenge."
"I was going to use this to clean up that other mess I made ... if only this stuff wasn't so fun to play with."
"Where on EARTH is that recipe I was looking at earlier?"
"OK broom, I keep using you and then finding MORE black hair appearing behind us. What gives?"
"I'll cuddle with you while our human is away as long as you tell NO ONE about this, OK cat?"
"You will not move. The human must know that it was YOU who made that mess. You are not going anywhere ..."
"CAR CAR CAR car car ... rats, not my human. OH LOOK CAR CAR CAR ...."
"YOU ARE HOME AND THE HOUSE IS STILL HERE I AM VICTORIOUS!"
