Deadly Spiders Won't Stop Biting This Poor Guy's Penis
We don't know Jordan's last name, but we do know he's been having a really, really tough year (so it's hard to blame him for wanting to stay anonymous).
The 21-year-old from Australia made headlines earlier this year after being bitten by a highly venomous redback spider while using a portable toilet at work. As bad as that sounds though, it gets a good deal worse. The deadly little arachnid didn't just bite him anywhere - she bit him on the penis.
Here's an artistic recreation of the scene that likely followed.
Thankfully, Jordan got the medical attention he needed in time. But, as it turns out, that was only round one of his penis' losing bout against redback spiders.
On Tuesday - five months following the bite - it happened all over again in another Porta Potti.
"I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time," Jordan told the BBC this week. "I was like 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim."
By now an expert on what to do when a spider bites his penis, Jordan knew to get to the hospital, where he was treated with antivenom and released shortly thereafter. The experiences, Jordan says, have made him wary of using the facilities at work the next time nature calls, telling BBC:
"I think I'll be holding on for dear life to be honest."
Redback spiders, similar to their black widow counterparts, are easily identifiable from the scarlet markings on their bodies.
While it's true they are dangerous to humans, spiders like them play an important role in an ecosystem. So, if you spot one someplace she doesn't belong, it's always a good idea to humanely relocate her to a more suitable place outdoors.