There's a moment in The New Yorker's recent feature on Modern Farmer, the magazine dedicated to small-scale farming by a younger and hipper demographic, that's equally telling and moving. It's sort of the like the foodie's Drover's magazine. In it, the author and the magazine's founder, Ann Marie Gardner, visit a local farm to pick up fresh chicken. But there is no fresh chicken so the farmer asks his customers to hang on a sec so he can kill a few right quick. Here's what follows:
[Gardner] walked out to the parking lot and called the chef who was to grill the chickens. "I'm having a crisis, because they haven't killed the chickens, and he's going to kill them for me," she said. "I'm really seriously thinking, Couldn't we just do pasta?" She walked in a tight circle. "It's true, it's very fresh chicken," she said, nodding. "That's one way to look at it." When she walked back inside, the man said, "Next ones coming through the window are yours." Gardner took out her checkbook. "I love the chef's attitude," she said uncertainly. "‘It's very fresh.' They're not sentimental about it." Another bird squawked, and Gardner put her hands to her cheeks, then pressed her fingers to her eyes. "People who raise chickens say that if you saw the individual personalities they have you'd never want to eat chicken again, so I guess my next up is to get some animals, huh?" Sniffling, she wrote a check for $84.93, and took the chickens, which I had to carry, because when she touched them she discovered that they were still warm.
The scene is poignant. The recognition of life, the apparent suffering at the prospect of death, the admission that the birds have personalities and interests, the inability to handle (literally) the consequences - all by the head of a magazine about farming! Rather than condemn or judge Gardner here, my inclination is to appreciate the honesty of her reaction, her refusal to plaster over the experience with stupid terms such as "meat chickens" or "harvest," and her willingness to spill our her emotions in front of the writer whom she must have known would document them for readers to witness and, naturally, judge.
The easy part, from the animal advocate's perspective, would be to focus on the fact that, as the next scene confirms, she and her dinner party guests ate the birds, and then deliver a stern admonishment. Lord knows I've done my share of that. The harder part, though, is to grapple with the implications of the emotional reaction that preceded the meal. I'm not sure exactly what, but something tells me there are truths being expressed in that moment that animal activists are not fully appreciating or exploiting to the benefit of farm animals.