Describing the perfectly preserved penis as "slender" with a "heart-shaped glans" and a twisted tip, the research team said the moment of passion was forever frozen in time when a prehistoric arachnid got stuck in tree resin during the late Cretaceous period.
Study leader Jason Dunlop noted that no female was found in the amber fossil, indicating the eons-long dong likely went untouched.
"It might be the case that the animal was struggling as it was trapped in the tree resin," Dunlop charitably suggested, "and that this caused the blood pressure to shoot up and the penis to become squeezed out accidentally."
Nevertheless, one expert couldn't help but feel sorry for the lonely-boney spider-like creature.
"It must have been in an amorous state to have it out like this," entomologist Ron Clouse told National Geographic. "This poor animal."