2 min read

The Guy Putting Snakes In His Mouth For The Rainforest Should Definitely Stop

Dear Brazilian Guy Who Puts Snakes In His Mouth for the Rainforest,
I recently learned about you and the snakes you put in your mouth. After reading your story, I wanted to offer some simple advice: Stop.

Stop putting snakes in your goddamn mouth.

According to The Mirror, you put snakes in your mouth to protest deforestation in the Amazon. According to me, that doesn't make any sense.

Here are some good ways to protest deforestation: Publicly demonstrating, organizing a boycott, starting a letter-writing campaign. And here is one bad way: Making YouTube videos of your weird, snake-filled mouth.

Presumably, you know that putting snakes in your mouth is gross. Presumably, that's why you do it. But - and just bear with me here - have ever considered not putting snakes in your mouth?

For one, I'm sure the snakes would be much, much happier. For two, Jesus Christ, man, just don't put snakes in your mouth, okay?

Sincerely,
Hudson P.S. Also don't put spiders in your mouth, why do I even need to say this?