Before I could ask if he owned a cat, the ring on his finger caught my eye, and my anxiety-ridden mind started to race. He was wearing a ring, so he probably didn't have a cat. Because cats are only for women, everybody knows that. Maybe he'll go home and tell his wife, "Honey, this girl came in, and she was wearing leggings as pants, and this crazy sweater, her hair was super frizzy and she had all these fancy organic cat food cans! I asked her about her cat and she just wouldn't shut up! Like she was waiting for someone, anyone, to ask about her cat!" I don't want to be that girl.
We finished the transaction in silence, then he said, "have a good night," and I said the same, and headed towards the exit.
Looking back, I do know why I called Simon sassy. I said it to cover up how much I love that cat, because cat people are weird and everybody is too busy talking about their dogs. Dog people: The perfectly acceptable public obsession. They walk around with them, show pictures of them, make them do silly tricks, I get it. I love dogs, I do. But oftentimes, people who label themselves as dog people are thrown into the same pile as cat haters. But there is no way cat haters actually hate cats as much as they claim. Because sure, dogs may rule in the real world, but everybody knows cats rule the internet. Everyone has LOL'd at catz, even dog people.