"Dude, you've been using the couch wrong this whole time ... awkward."
"I know what happens ... should I tell you? Hint: Everyone DIES."
"EXCUSE me? You're using WHAT kind of dish soap? Do you know nothing?"
"Oh, it's better this way. Trust me."
"Yes, it CAN be used this way, actually. Shows what you know."
"I can't eat if the bowl is empty, smart one ..."
"Cats will last much longer if you don't keep us in jars. Just a tip, though."
"Not ALL cats hate water! That's like saying all humans like dogs. Get your facts straight."
"Quick, what year were cats invented? This will TOTALLY be on the quiz."
"Not to be a nag, but did you brush your teeth ...?"
"Do you KNOW how many calories are in a pizza? This is for your own good."
"GET DOWN. What did you not understand about 'ninja-like?' Jeez ..."
"You did WHAT? I mean, that was a bad decision ... but hey, what do I know ..."