By Robin the Cat
1) When told "no," move closer and cry again.
2) Mom's food: Show restraint. Limit tasting to only one lick.
3) Show Mom you care: Get her a gift, something you've killed yourself, and leave it on the living room floor. Look confused when she doesn't seem to appreciate it.
4) How to open the door: Fling whole body hard against screen door making loud noise and shaking house. Hang there until Mom comes to investigate.
5) Pet Carriers: Run and hide somewhere Mom can't reach. Stay put until several hours after threat is gone.
6) The Vet: Panic by climbing all over Mom. Use Mom as shield for hiding.
7) Car Rides: Let Mom know that you're scared by crying nonstop. If ignored, scream bloody murder and shred everything within reach.
8) Show your human that you're in charge by walking in front at all times. Attack ankles if human tries to usurp authority by passing without permission.
9) Let Mom know that you want to curl up in her lap by silently hovering and pacing. Lap is unacceptable until covered with blanket.