Dear duck shooter, I recently heard that Australia's 2015 duck shooting season has been declared in Northern Territory, South Australia, Victoria and Tasmania. I'm writing to you because I'm just a bit concerned about your choice of hobby. It seems really ... hard. I mean for one - don't take this the wrong way, but surely you must've noticed - no one really likes you. :/ People like ducks alive! They just don't get why you want to shoot them. (Why do you want to shoot them?)
Anyway, I was wondering whether you'd ever thought about taking up a different hobby instead of duck shooting? Like what about bowling? Everyone likes bowling. Which pretty much sums up my first point.
Why it's time to stop killing ducks and get some balls. Bowling balls.
1. You don't make friends with dead ducks.
No. No you don't.
You do however make friends with big shiny balls. The proof is in this genuinely candid and not-at-all staged photograph of bowling friends.