1. "I was just sitting there, minding my own business, and somehow I ended up here!"
2. "I IMMEDIATELY regret this decision."
3. "... Okay, seriously you can help me down, now. We don't need photo evidence of this."
Reddit: ScaryStingRay
6. "No, you're wrong. I'm not on the counter, I just decided to become a dish."
7. "So, it's a funny story - a TRUE story, no less ..."
8. "I mean, it's really not so bad. I see why the cats do it."
9. "Okay, so, I can explain ... wait, no I can't. But I love you!"